Entry #b4 [Butter]

Hello everyone, N0V4 here! Again again again! I finally caught up with CNPMY, so I have nothing to watch for the time being… That means I can finally write the story of the last moderator that Cyno recruited: Butter! I’m not sure where Aino is today… Maybe she’s off ruminating about her past again (as she usually does).

 

You know how this goes! Before we can delve in to the story of how Cyno, Luna, and Rynoric met Butter, we need to first illuminate his backstory.

 

You may believe that your Earth is the only planet in this entire universe that has life on it. You would be wrong. Earth isn’t even the only planet with intelligent life on it. I mean, look at Luna and Rynoric! Butter came from one such planet, billions of trillions of… billions of light years away. 

 

On that planet, Butter was an intelligent dog-like creature. I believe the closest comparison on your Earth would be that of a Shiba Inu. A Shiba Inu that could think and act as a human. He couldn’t talk, however, as he was still a dog. He could bark though. It was a loud bark.

 

The rest of the population was similar to Earth as well: humanoid creatures that could communicate, other species like worms and jellyfish, etc.

 

Unfortunately for Butter, his planet had not mastered the ability to travel in space yet. As a result, when they had perfected their first prototype rocket, they decided to launch a dog into space first. The dog they chose was, of course, none other than Butter. He was named that way because his favourite treat in the whole wide world was butter. They did have to limit the amount he ingested, lest he become a bit overweight. 

 

Anyway, Butter willingly agreed to be launched, something the alien-humans understood with one deep sounding “BORK” from him. Butter had his own reason to want to go to space. See, although his planet did not have any moons orbiting it, he had heard of the mythical sphere that would sometimes appear in the sky for other planets. He didn’t tell anyone (and nobody ever asked him), but the truth was that he firmly believed that, despite all the scientific data against this outcome, moons were wheels of butter. And he would be damned if he wouldn’t get a taste of that butter before he went to doggy heaven.

 

So just like that, the plan went off without any hitches. He was strapped to the clunky metal ship, given a bowl of butter as a treat, and goggles were placed on his head. That was all the preparation needed.

 

In the beginning, everything was fine. He was cruising, chilling, making sure he didn’t lick his bowl of butter too fast. The planet looked so tiny from where he was, and he wondered if he could play fetch with it. When he saw the moon of his planet near, however, he forgot all about playing catch, his tail wagging with fervour. The moon wheel cheese would be his!

 

As this was the first rocket that the alien-humans launched into space with a living thing inside, however, there were some problems that they had failed to calculate. Namely the temperature. 

 

Without anything inside the rocket, they could safely make sure that it did not get too hot by simply regulating the inside and outside. However, they did not account for the increased heart rate from Butter’s excitement. With every swish of his tail, his body began to overheat. Soon, Butter was panting, leaving puffs of hot air floating around his cabin. On the planet, the alien-humans began to panic, but there was nothing they could do to help. Butter’s gluttony was his downfall.

 

Within minutes, the rocket ship began to melt from the inside out, the engines failing and the electronics frying. The rocket careened out of the course and the alien-humans lost contact with their brave little doggo. They mourned him for weeks. To this day, September 13th, the birth of Butter, is still a national holiday for the alien-humans. They spend the day petting their intelligent dogs and making sure that they have a little butter to eat.

 

Miraculously, however, Butter survived. 

 

He had landed on a stray asteroid which somehow had enough mass to have a breathable surface. Butter was a resourceful dog. He made sure to utilise the vigorous training that his alien-humans had made him undergo. He licked just enough calories to keep him alive for the longest time possible. He conserved enough energy to do exactly 590 steps per day, something that he kept in mind as he searched for water and food sources around him.

 

Despite all his hard work, with each passing day, it became more and more evident that Butter would not be able to survive for much longer. Eventually, he also lost his will to survive. He didn’t know, but the alien-humans were already training another, smarter dog named Margarine to help with V.2 of their rocket. 

 

After many months (as there were some rare foodstuff and water source for Butter, he wasn’t living on that tub of butter alone), he awoke one day to a miraculous sight. In the sky, very small but noticeable with his bare eyes, was a wedge of butter. And another wedge of butter. And another wedge of butter! 

 

He tried to stand up but failed, collapsing. Despite this, his tail was wagging with glee. This lost him valuable calories, but at this point he forgot about it. He had found the mythological moon butter! However, his consciousness was fading fast. Before his eyes fully closed, he caught a flash of something like a shooting star and made a wish: to lick the butter wheel.

 

That shooting star was Cyno’s ship.

 

Now you may be thinking: moons aren’t shaped like wedges? Aren’t they spheres? And you would be absolutely right! This “moon butter” didn’t belong to the whole moon. Instead, it belonged to a character that we should all be familiar with by now: it was Luna’s shattered moon.

 

Huzzah! 

 

But wait, didn’t Cyno already leave Luna’s shattered moon? I mean at this point, Cyno, Luna, and Rynoric were trying to return home to Earth! The answer is yes! To answer how the crew managed to find Butter, we must once again return to the reason why Cyno found any of the helpers in her first place: zero sense of direction. 

Rynoric and Luna had blindly agreed to follow Cyno, some star that they just met, in order to find a new reason to live. That’s what Cyno had promised, and it was a pretty alluring promise as well. However, soon after they had left where they found Rynoric, they began seeing some problems with their new captain. 

 

For one, she had a habit of breaking things easily. It was like everything was made of glass when it fell into Cyno’s hands. When they left the rocket to go exploring, they made sure not to let Cyno touch any electronics or valuables. Cyno had even broken the steering wheel of the ship multiple times. Luna had to stick it back on with duct tape that he found on board.

 

Cyno was also prone to folding easily. Despite her harsh exterior, she had a soft spot for… well… everything. There was a time that they had been held captive by space bandits in exchange for all the valuables that they had on board. Cyno was yelling and screaming about how she would disintegrate the boss once she got her hands on him, but the second the boss bandit came on board, Luna and Rynoric knew it would be over. He was a suave talker, apologising to Cyno for his subordinates’ brutish ways and promising that he would set her free. Luna and Rynoric mouthed “it’s a scam” to her, but she just so happened to be looking into his dazzling blue eyes. She was about to sign the ship over when Luna finally freed Rynoric, who swallowed the bandits whole. 

 

Cyno cried about her beau for a week: that is, until she found a handsome looking space ranger.

 

Anyway, all of this is simply to illustrate that there were certain… quirks that Cyno held that Luna and Rynoric did not know that they signed up for. The most egregious one, however, was the aforementioned sense of direction. 

This became most apparent when, several weeks after their pilgrimage to Earth, Luna spotted something on the horizon. 

 

“Food?”

 

“No, Rynoric, not food. It’s a broken planet.”

 

“That’s food…” 

 

“Wait, shush, no, it’s not a broken planet… It seems smaller…” At this, Cyno perked up.

 

“Let’s go explore it! Who knows, maybe it’ll have an astral map somewhere on there!” 

 

So off they went, excited to see what the future held! Only to slowly realise that it was none other than Luna’s shattered moon.

 

Luna crumpled to the ground in exhaustion, Rynoric groaned in hunger, and Cyno stood there, stock still, blanching at the events that had unfolded. Their supplies were dwindling: the last planet they had gone to only had hot dogs, grilled. That was harder to keep fresh. 

 

“Uh… I came here… For a reason.” Cyno turned around, anxious to make her crew feel confident in her.

 

“Cut it out. You’re lying,” Rynoric moaned, “I’m hungry, let me eat!” Luna, on the other hand, although not without doubts, gave Cyno a chance.

 

“No, no, let’s hear her out,” he chimed in, patient as always, “I’m sure our North Star will lead the way.” 

 

Cyno, put on the spot, began to sweat. She didn’t want to lose her newfound buddies, but there was also literally zero reason why they would want to go back to where they had begun. She looked out the window in what she hoped was an expressive manner, and began waxing poetic.

 

“There comes a time in every star- or… bunny… and slime’s life that they have to make a choice. The road less travelled? Or the one who holds the footsteps of a thousand people?” Cyno began gesturing wildly, buying time for her brain to think of something, anything. “Some may say that the road less travelled would make all the difference. I, on the other hand, think… that… there must be a reason! Yes, a reason to retrace steps, to walk where others have gone before!” Luna and Rynoric exchanged a look. Cyno gulped. Her eyes darted left, right, left, and then, in the corner of her eye, she spotted something. 

 

An asteroid. Floating lackadaisically towards the ship. No: towards the shattered moon.

 

“AND LOOK TODAY WHAT FORTUNE THE TREADED PATH HATH TAKEN US!” 

 

“Why is she speaking like that?” Rynoric asked Luna.

 

“Play along.”

 

“OVER YONDER THINE EYES CAN SEE A FLOATING ASTEROID! HASTEN ON, SIR LUNA, AND LOOK THROUGH THINE TELESCOPE!” 

 

Rynoric rolled his eyes, murmuring, “She’s buying time, Luna. This is hopeless. I’m hungry.” 

 

“Yes, my liege.” Luna responded to Cyno, making her way to the telescope. He turned around and whispered to Rynoric, “Let’s just see what she does. Don’t you trust her?” Rynoric blinked in confusion. Why should he trust her?

 

But, the faith of Luna paid off.

 

While initially he thought it was simply going to be a floating asteroid, he soon realised that there was a dog on it! Not only that, it was a dog on the brink of dying! Severely dehydrated, starved, and yet somehow drooling with his tongue wagging!

 

Luna quickly made the report, causing Cyno and Rynoric to jump to their stations: Rynoric readied the thrusters while Cyno… just sat at the helm yelling “ONWARD!” 

 

When they made it to the small asteroid, Cyno quickly rushed to the weak Shiba Inu’s side. Then, thinking back to how she had accidentally made Luna human with an overload of power, she decided that she shouldn’t make this dog change species without consent. As a result, she carefully, very carefully, channelled some of her Star Core powers into his body. 

 

Slowly, slowly…

 

Until a small piece of dog hair fell into her nose, and…

 

ACHOO!

 

Butter was blasted so hard that he, too, gained a human form. Cyno was a bit disappointed. She had wanted a pet dog. Butter, on the other hand, was ecstatic! He could talk now!

 

“Thank you, Cyno!”

 

“No problem… What’s your name?”

 

“Butter.”

 

“No problem, Butter! Would you like to join my crew?”

 

“Will I get paid?”

 

“What?”

 

“What? Nothing. I’ll join. But on one condition. I need to fulfil my dream first.”

 

“Alright, what is it?” 

 

“I need to lick that moon.” 

 

So the crew flew over to the moon, Butter licked it and got THOROUGHLY disappointed, and as a result became rather jaded with the world. That’s why he’s always so blunt now. It’s because he doesn’t want anybody else believing in something that just isn’t true. 

 

After the whole debacle, Cyno had finally found her three helpers! Now she was truly ready to go home! When they returned to the ship, Cyno boastfully claimed that it was all “calculated”, but nobody bought it. Except Butter, who had no idea what was going on. 

 

Once again, they were ready to set off to go to Earth! Except nothing had really changed: Cyno, the only one who knew the way, still did not know how to return to Earth. So it wasn’t that easy. But that’s a story for next time! I think one more post should wrap up this story nicely! I hope you’ll look forward to it! 

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